Co-Parenting Tips for Divorced Parents: Part 2
Discuss Your Child’s Disciplinary Issues
If your child is acting out in school or in a particular environment, your former spouse needs to know about it. This will give him or her a forewarning about issues that may come up, and it will also give you a chance to discuss ramifications. What are you going to do if the actions persist? What disciplinary tactics have not worked so far? What would you like to try in the future? These are the kinds of questions you and the other parent should go over together.
Drop off Instead of Picking up
This simple tactic will send a great message to your child. Instead of having the other parent pick up the child, drop him or her off at the other person’s house. Then have that person dropped the child off at your house at the end of the visit. Picking up suggests that a child is being pulled away from a home. If you dropped the child off, it shows that you approve of the household he or she is going to. It’s a subtle message, but it makes a big difference in a child’s perspective.
Do Not Talk Poorly about the Other Parent
It does not matter if that person is behind on child support or has consistently cancelled plans with the child. Your child will make up his or her own mind about the other parent. It is your job to be as supportive as possible. If you create a negative view of the other parent, it may alter the memories that your child is able to make. Let your child and draw his or her own conclusions when the time is right.
Be Fair and Realistic about Visitations
You may want to have your child for every holiday and every major event, but that is usually not an option with co-parenting. Allow your child to have these experiences at both households. You could switch holidays every year, where one year you have him or her for Thanksgiving and the other year you have him or her for Christmas. Find a schedule that works for you, your former spouse, and your child. Your family will be better for it.
Talk to a Co-Parenting Counselor
The suggestions in this guide work as a general guideline, but they may not suit your family’s specific needs. With co-parenting counseling, you can find personalized solutions that work for every member of your family. You can also resolve long term conflicts that may be creating tension between you and the other parent. The experts here at Midwest Psychological Services are here to help. Give us a call at (715) 381-1980 to schedule an appointment with a co-parenting counselor near you